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Until autumn, that is, when Brystol told me she was pregnant. OMFG, I told you that the summer was bad news. Bad news. Worse than bad news. Although I don’t know why Brystol couldn’t just deal with it; I always did at her age. Again, I have to save some things for my book, but this was all just going to wreck any chance I had to progress this family. I tell you, for every step I carve out of rock with my bloodied white-tip French-manicure fingernails on behalf of this family, they just work overtime to sabotage me. No one would take me seriously now, on the big stage, unless I could get us out of this Summer 2007 mess.
And of course I could. I did. I always do.
But Brystol should have told me before we took that First Family photo on 9-14-07. At least I could have scrubbed that picture, also, too, before it went public. If I had only known.
I sent Brystol to live with my sister, we called it mono, even though there were rumors that she was pregnant. Oh, hell, every pretty girl who is MIA for a while is labeled pregnant around here, and some of them are, and what’s the difference anyway after a few years -- so I knew we could get through this if we just kept our heads down. I stomped the rumors, and everything seemed fine.
But I couldn't believe who Brystol said the Dad was. Okay, okay, I believed her, but I just wanted to know for sure. In case maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. So I had them do an amnio so I could confirm the Dad situation before it was born. No problem getting DNA samples of the Dad, that’s for sure. I know, amnio at 13 weeks is a little early, but once I decided to know for sure, I wanted to know ASAP – just in case.
Or maybe I lied a little and didn't really have the amnio done -- on me or on Brystol. Sorry: you'll just have to wait for the book.
But, no problem to arrange to have the baby born quietly, with a fake birth certificate, fake parents listed on it, so no one was going to know, and he could be in the hospital without anyone knowing. We were going to adopt him out to one of several real cute little families I knew through church. No problem.
And it all was going to be fine, but then it turned out that the baby had Down Syndrome. Boy, I sure didn’t expect that, and all hell broke loose. Brystol went wild. No one in church was going to adopt it now. So to adopt it out, we’d have to fill out a lot of embarrassing paperwork, have home visits and interviews, snoopy social workers all over the place -- and I really needed to keep everything private. Brystol had the baby in February -- it was a little early, so I had to piece a plan together fast. Oh, geez, here we go again, old Sarah has to make everything right for all the fuck-ups in this family.
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Sarah knew there were rumors that Bristol was pregnant: that's why she denied those rumors to Bill McAllister, her spokesman.
Is Bristol pregnant here on 9-14-07?
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